Legislative Masterpieces Make Me Go, Hmm....
Posted by Scott Ryfun
A couple of new laws are going into effect this summer that I find interesting. The first is that the longest-running unexplainable law is going bye-bye. That’s the old pickup truck seatbelt law.
You’ve heard it a million times: fathers teaching their sons that they’re special because they drive pickups. Their special status as pickup drivers and riders makes them immune to silly seatbelt laws.
Sad thing is, it doesn’t make them immune to Newtonian physics. I mean, the First Law of Motion doesn’t turn to the Second Law of Motion and say, “I know we s’posed to team up to throw these people out their vehicle durin’ this crash, but hold off. They’re in a pickup truck.” Evidently, the First Law of Motion is from South Georgia.
How this has actually been allowed to go on this way for so long has always escaped me. Every time I raise the question of why pickup trucks have been exempt from seatbelt laws for so long, everyone I ask blames the farmers.
Now, I don’t know why, but the farmers are always the ones that get blamed for everything someone doesn’t like. I’ve heard them blamed for everything from summer vacation to Daylight Saving Time.
Neither of those is actually due in any part to farmers, but if I could blame someone for Daylight Saving Time and declare war on them, I would.
Think about the mental gymnast who first made the suggestion: “Hey, you know that time of year when there’s more sunlight than at any other? Let’s make it so there’s MORE of it! And in the winter when there’s very little daylight? Let’s reduce that by an hour!” Now, think about the Jeopardy champions who said, “Sounds about right to us,” and then made it law!
Really gives you an insight as to why we’re in as much trouble as we are these days. Let’s just say that in Washington, they’re exploring alternative energy methods, but no one’s giving a single thought to switching the country over to “brain power.”
The other new masterpiece of the Georgia Legislature is the new Cell Phone bill that prevents people under eighteen from using cell phones while they’re driving and prevents adults from texting while they’re driving.
First off, let me say I’m glad they didn’t outlaw cell phone usage while driving outright. Otherwise, I’d hate to see the booking problems caused by every single cop on the street arresting himself.
Secondly, I’m completely baffled by the attempt to stop texting while driving, as if it’s distinguishable from dialing while driving, playing video games while driving, or even voting for American Idol while driving. If someone pulls you over for texting while driving, can you not just say, “It’s okay, officer, I was only dialing.”
“Oh,” he’ll say, “that’s completely different. Carry on, Citizen.”
It seems like any time there’s a new piece of technology out there, someone wants to outlaw certain aspects of it, because new things are dangerous. Let me explain what I mean: some studies show that more people get into wrecks because they were eating than because of their cell phone use. Which one is now illegal? That’s right! If I want to chow down on my extra large Big Mac value meal while I’m driving, I don’t deserve a second glance. But if I’m a teenager and my parents call to tell me Aunt Millie was just admitted to the hospital, I can get a ticket for answering.
Me? I’d much rather my teens talk to their friends on the phone while driving than actually have their friends in the car with them while driving.
That’s far less distracting.
Because eating, reading, smoking, putting on your makeup in the rear-view mirror, threatening the kids in the backseat, toying with the stereo, and getting the dog to sit still are not based on some insidious new technology, doing them while driving is not specifically outlawed.
My law enforcement friends are quick to point out that those things are all covered under the umbrella of “Distracted Driving,” to which I reply, “AHA!”
Could any and all cell phone use fall under the same heading? Is the new cell phone law not simply another example of our being overlegislated?
I’m just glad we didn’t insist on legislating all technology out of our cars back in the 70s, otherwise, the Mr. Microphone would have been banned, and the world would never have heard the phrase, “Hey, good looking! We’ll be back to pick you up later!”
First off, let me say I’m glad they didn’t outlaw cell phone usage while driving outright. Otherwise, I’d hate to see the booking problems caused by every single cop on the street arresting himself.
